Duck Hooligans Run Rampant

Throughout its short existence, the nation of Greenlandia has allowed free circulation of flora and fauna from the UK and abroad. Greenlandia's ministry of Science Technology and Development has warned this afternoon of the appearance of a new sub-species of duck: Anatidae Groenlandis Alcoholide. Experts suggest this new bird has not generated any physical modifications as their new habitat is similar in climate and geographic features; there has been instead behavioural and dietary changes which become more accute in specimen who have settled permanently in the principality. After several months of observation and clinical analysis the status of new species has been granted.

This new breed of duck has a particularly short temper, several children have been horribly disfigured from Greenland Duck attacks while trying to feed them. Research shows these animals have been observing and imitating the daily behaviors of Greenlandian citizens (Binge drinking, Hypercaloric diets, Drug addiction, sexual deviance, aggression, self flagelation, homosexuality, egomania) and have adopted them as their own. Chief Greenlandia scientist Nikita Kruschev spoke on the matter in a press conference early this morning.

"The discovery of this new sub species is a first in Greenlandia history, not only do we have a new and proud and sovereign nation, we now have native fauna."

Although citizens of the small nation have stated their overwhelming joy at this new discovery those who have suffered the vicious attacks from flocks of Greenland Duck compare them to hooligans and are requesting the inmediate extermination of existing populations.

"These ducks were clearly intoxicated, they were singing xenophobic chants and were clearly out for a fight... more than ducks they seemed like hooligans" (Thomas from Bermondsey, duck attack victim)

The President of Greenlandia has spoken in support for the Greenland Duck and in his first public appearance since the infamous "foremangate" incident he was quoted saying: "Not only are we going to make this new species of duck, Anatidae Groenlandis Alcoholide, the national bird, we will continue to support its growth by leaving even more leftovers and pints arround to make them bigger and meaner."


Anatidae Groenlandis Alcohide

Thomas from Bermondsey (...sucks for you maite)


M.