Friday 29 May 2009

UN to impose sanctions on Greenlandia

A global uproar broke out today as The Principality of Greenlandia revealed it had been firing up bbq's at it's understate of the art testing facility in the garden province near the village of Georgetown. The questions being raised at the moment are what prompted this latest test, and just how much charcoal does the small nation have? UN inspectors, previously invited to the first test in the country, were forced out by the President after it emerged that they had turned up to the bbq site with a crate of bitter, and proceeded to drink all the lager. A move that was considered a cultural slur and often described in the country as a "party foul". Days later the country tested several smaller range bbq's, a move that prompted the neighbouring UK to join the UN in condemnation. This has led to Greenlandia abandoning the truce that has stood between the two nations for over two weeks since the legalisation of crime debacle. Greenlandia has now announced that any attempt to impose sanctions will be met with delicious reprisals, potentially unleashing it's biggest bbq to date. In recent times the Principality has been amassing what can only be described as a fierce army of alcoholic ducks, with support coming from the stealth reconnaissance of the invisible chameleon regiment.

Little is known about this secretive nation and it's enigmatic president. He is said to be obsessed with his height, even growing his hair to preposterous lengths to emphasize this fact, often appearing in his trade mark sunglasses. He is also said to be obsessed with Hollywood films and once reportedly kidnapped a lesser known director, forcing her to make a film starring him and his ministers. The BBC recently had this to say about him "analysts are undecided whether his eccentricities mask the cunning mind of a master manipulator or betray an irrational madman"

Political commentators are unsure whether these recent tests are a genuine threat to the world as we know it or the desperate throes of a leader turned senile.


Satellite image of the Garden province of Greenlandia

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