Demonstrations were today being hastily organised all across central Rotherhithe in response to the news that the Principality of Greenlandia have legalised all crime. Residents of the neighboring country of England are worried that this will cause a surge in violent behavior along the border, and are lobbying the Greenlandian government to reverse their decision.
The foreign Minister, interviewed getting on the Jubilee line, said: "as a small nation we've had to enlist 100% of our population into the cabinet, leaving no-one left for internal law enforcement. After lengthy discussions it was decided that if all crime was legal, there would be no need for police, leaving our citizens more time to invest in tricky new bathroom cleaning legislation...Oh fucking hell the line is closed from London Bridge to Stratford, what's the fucking point? I don't see a fucking difference and it's been going on for a year and a half. I'm going to write to Boris Johnson. He's such a fucking clueless dick head. He said he was going to get rid of the bendy buses as well and I haven't seen that happen yet. God I hate people."
If the lobbying of Greenlandia to reverse their decision fails, the UK have put in place sanctions and closed the underpass that links Greenlandia to the 24 hour Tesco - their primary source of imports - and are prepared to use military force if the small principality still will not budge.
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