In a brief statement the Minister for Foreign Affairs and official spokesman for the President's Office said "After an intensive "independent" internal investigation, involving the review of "literally millions" of official government documents, we have found our scapegoat. Which is a technical term for the person who is to blame. So everything is "resolved" now. It's all "fixed". Stop asking us questions about it".
Asked why he kept using finger quotations and winking wildly the minister refused to comment, although he was heard mumbling something about how stupid everyone in the whole world was.
The finger of blame has apparently being poked at George Foreman, Greenlandia's leading culinary expert. "George Foreman's grill stood by and allowed various ministers to spend money in a completely irresponsible manner. The Minister of the Interior and Security reportedly bought 738 pairs of shoes last month alone. The grill should have intervened earlier to halt such wanton greed, but instead allowed the government to spend taxpayers money on pointless purchases, like vegetables and condoms" read the government press release.
When asked how an inanimate object could be blamed for what was simply a result of people in power deciding they had a right to spend other peoples money for their own ends, Greenlandia's President said he was tired and was going to his room.
The grill was unavailable for comment.
Cooking the books?
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