Further disgrace was brought upon the upper echelons of power in the Principality of Greenlandia today as revelations of excessive expense claims surfaced. As many MP's in both the UK's current Labour government and the Shadow Cabinet are under investigation for claims running into tens of thousands of taxpayers pounds for moat cleaning, garden maintenance and the payment of non-existant mortgages, eyes turned towards the small principality with shocking results.
The President of Greenlandia was found to have submitted a claim of approximately $3000 for toaster waffles and gin that never gives in, prompting calls for his immediate resignation. When questioned about the matter he had this to say: "Put cheese on them, I'm not eating them without cheese. I think I'm going to chunder".
The minister for the interior and homeland security, when asked to pay back monies claimed for a new clothes-menium falcon, 6000 litres of hair wax and 48 frozen pizzas, responded in an overly excitable manner: "She's a real sweetheart. Probably the best sex I've ever had. I'm hungry".
With the reputation of the government of the fledgling nation in tatters, and the alarming prospect of a mass voter exodus, the foreign minister was forced to deliver a statement to the rest of the UK. When quizzed by John Snow on the evening news about the expenses matter he vehemently denied involvement, stating categorically that "I've done the maths, and I'm pretty sure I'm never going to get a woman again". When asked to comment on his fellow governmental colleagues, he continued by stating: "Do be doo be doo be doo be....aaaaaarrrrrrg, my life is such a disaster".
Inquest into the matter continues while reporters desperately attempt to contact the minister for agriculture and firearms, currently residing in Barcelona, Spain.
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