Dawn of a new hope, or just postponing the inevitable?

So, it seems that we've entered a period of uncontrollable reversal. I'm talking, of course, about Newcastle United's decimation of 'Boro last night. It defied so many of the trends that we're used to from Newcastle that I'm beginning to believe that some form of sorcery is at work. Let's examine this a little more closely.

Firstly, last night was a must win game - a situation within our control that demanded a positive result. To my mind, we haven't taken advantage of a situation in our control to yield a positive result since 3 seasons ago when we wheezed past an apathetic Chelsea (who already had the league in the bag) on the last day of the season to secure seventh place and a back door entry into the old UEFA cup via the Intertoto Cup (which, obviously, we failed to capitalise on and were humped by AZ Alkmaar. And what the fuck is the Intertoto cup anyway?).

Secondly, as today's Newcastle United, we can't do anything but field a team of players who'd all rather be eating melting plastic than putting on their black and white shirts, as all our players think the whole club is a badly organised, lying, bloodsucking corporate vampire, run by a pack of clueless Southern bankers (which it is, but that's not the point). This means simply that we can never muster up any team spirit, especially as our captain Michael Owen would surely rather be buggered by every horse in his gigantic stables than lead that team of retards out onto the pitch to be embarassed in front of 52,000 people. Yet, last night, we pulled together, reversed a defecit (for the first time this season) and actually looked like a proper football team with some passion and desire to win a game.

Thirdly, the goals. Hmmmm. The first came from Stephen Taylor, which is not a huge surprise, even though he's shit. He can, however, sometimes put the onion in the onion bag as long as it's a corner, no-one's marking him and he can use his head. The other two were more of a conundrum. Obafemi Martins scoring with his first touch after coming on as a substitute?? Come on. Surely this is some kind of paradox. Everyone knows that Obafemi Martins has the touch of a Downs Syndrome rapist with Parkinsons disease, yet he controlled a ball with his left, moved it expertly onto his right and buried it in the bottom corner. Then comes a goal from the other substitite, Lovenkrands?? I was a firm believer that we'd all be more likely to see Evan have sex with the entire Brazillian beach volleyball team, or Paul to become the next black James Bond than Lovenkrands to ever score another goal, but he not only scored one, but a decent one. What's happening to my football team? Winning an important game and giving a white hot flame of shining hope to a city in turmoil? It's like David Hasselhoff dropping in from a helicopter onto the Byker wall to sing "Fog On The Tyne" and then shower the crowd with black bullets and ten-packs of Regal Kingsize.

So, everything appears to have been reversed. We're out of the relegation zone with a convincing win, and there's confidence going into the final two games of the season, which is going to make it even more painful when the inevitable happens and we throw it all away.